Shit sucks

I’m 36 years old I’m not gonna bullshit shit life just fucking sucks I was with the same man for 17years and he just gets to walk away I love my kids more than anything but I’m not asking for help for my kids and asking for me I need it to be able to love myself and I just can’t do that because after having his kids working full-time job I didn’t get to take care of myself I want a mommy makeover I also want help getting a new vehicle and Get a house I work a full-time job but I also had children before I went to college I was supposed to be able to do that on my kids got old enough but he chose everything else and I let him it’s my own fault this is my fault but I just need help getting a new start and I don’t know where to start but I think loving myself is one thing.....PayPal/me.dabrahcooley