Please help

If you're reading this message I'd like to thank you for your time.

I'm a college student. I'm 24 years old.
All my life I had health issues. When I was 4 I was diagnosed with a genetic disorder - neurofibromatosis, a disease that grows tumors on nerve endings. Because of that I was always at hospitals getting surgery and other treatment. Modern medicine can only treat the symptoms of this disease, not cure it. 

With regular check-ups I was doing fine.
The second issue that caused me beeing here is the death of my mother. I was 14.

Afterwards, my father found a new wife and practically forgot he has children. My sister and I had to go trough that difficult period alone.

In the same period, I was struggling with beeing gay. My country is not open minded so I had a hard time accepting my sexuality.

Now, I'm studying sociology at university.
However, I have to work full time to earn enough money to survive. Because of that it did't go well with my studies... Now I work all the time to survive, but I'm in a big debt. 

Since my mother died I've been suffering from depression and anxiety. I've tried a lot of antidepressants but nothing works. To be honest, I don't know how much longer I can live this way.

I'd like to pay all my debts and then try to get another chance. After my finantial struggles would be solved, I'd find a better job (now I can't change jobs because I can't have a period without working) .

I would like to have some time to try to solve some issues, work on beeing a better version of myself.

I allways try to help those in need, but I can't help myself. I feel like a waste of space.

I worked for everything. I get up every morning and struggle. I dream about death with a smile.

My desire to die is huge, but I fight it every day.
My problem is that with all my efforts I can't earn enough. I just can't.

So, that brings me here. I would like to have a second chance. I would like to be able to pay off all my debts and start all over. Any help will be extremely appreciated. I don't know what else to do.

Thank you