02-26-2022, 01:06 PM
It really pains me to be here, but I've exhausted all possibilities and I just don't know what to do any more. I am a mum of 4 children, who for the past 3.5 years has been living with a man that has messed with my head from the beginning. Before I met him, I was unfortunate to have been a victim of rape, and at the time of meeting my partner I was at an all time low. When we met, it was really good, I was 6 months pregnant and he took me on as well as my other 3 hidden. In the first 12 months of our relationship I found out he had been messaging another girl at the same time as me, which caused conflict and made me have trust issues, which escalated my mental health symptoms, and I had severe anxiety and depression, because I felt, not good enough. After that hurdle, my daughter was born and he became her "daddy". 3 months later, we get engaged, and I was starting to improve trust again. I took him on the holiday of a life time for his birthday, and just a couple of months later my father passed away. He was there for me, I thought this was it, I'd finally get my happy ever after. Then covid hit, and my partner had to start working from home, bare in mind we've been together for 2 years at this point. As we celebrate our 3rd year together, I see on his laptop, chat between him and a colleague. The content of the chat grabbed my curiosity and I had a little snoop, and I'm so glad I did, because I find out that this WHOLE time, after all we have been through together, that it's been a very flirtatious "work wife" messaging him throughout or relationship and milestones, and birth and death, the whole time. Not only that, the two of them discussed our private arguments, and laughed at me behind my back for 2 years! I have put so much into this relationship, and I even gave up my flat, to go live in his house. I fully furnished his house, as he has 3 children too, half the time there is 9 of us, the other half 6 of us. Alternate weekends there is just me him and my youngest as the kids go to their dads/mums. So I moved in and decorated every single room, wallpaper, laminate, the lot. Everything is new, some of it I'm still paying off.
So when I approached that I knew about his work wife, he tried to convince me it was harmless banter and I said it wasn't, he was flirting and complimenting her, and she is 20 years younger, and much prettier. And that he discussed our private life too.
He has been gaslighting me and turning it so it looks like I'm the bad one, he even threw me out his house, after all I'd done for him. I guess he didn't appreciate being found out and is on a major guilt trip right now. So I moved back in when he said I "was allowed back" ?and I've since started sessions with a psychiatrist, who I've explained all this to, and she agrees I've been manipulated and gaslit, and has encouraged me to leave as soon as possible.
Ive been a stay at home mum for 12 years, I've raised 4 children in that time, and I do plan to go back to work next year when my youngest starts school.
I lost everything when I moved in with him, to build a home, but all I've done is make his house lovely and left myself penniless and homeless.
I want a place of safety, for my children, I want a place to call my own, and leave his brainwashing manipulative ass so I can be them mum my kids deserve, instead of the crumbling mess I am right now, because I am fully aware I can't fund a deposit and first month's rent on a house for me and my children. I don't get enough benifits, to be able to save, and the longer I'm here, the more desperate I become to leave.
I really need help to escape, because I've been to the lowest a person can go, and me and my children deserve better. Can anyone help me? Can anyone relate?
So when I approached that I knew about his work wife, he tried to convince me it was harmless banter and I said it wasn't, he was flirting and complimenting her, and she is 20 years younger, and much prettier. And that he discussed our private life too.
He has been gaslighting me and turning it so it looks like I'm the bad one, he even threw me out his house, after all I'd done for him. I guess he didn't appreciate being found out and is on a major guilt trip right now. So I moved back in when he said I "was allowed back" ?and I've since started sessions with a psychiatrist, who I've explained all this to, and she agrees I've been manipulated and gaslit, and has encouraged me to leave as soon as possible.
Ive been a stay at home mum for 12 years, I've raised 4 children in that time, and I do plan to go back to work next year when my youngest starts school.
I lost everything when I moved in with him, to build a home, but all I've done is make his house lovely and left myself penniless and homeless.
I want a place of safety, for my children, I want a place to call my own, and leave his brainwashing manipulative ass so I can be them mum my kids deserve, instead of the crumbling mess I am right now, because I am fully aware I can't fund a deposit and first month's rent on a house for me and my children. I don't get enough benifits, to be able to save, and the longer I'm here, the more desperate I become to leave.
I really need help to escape, because I've been to the lowest a person can go, and me and my children deserve better. Can anyone help me? Can anyone relate?