Ok, I know nobody would want to help somebody like me but can I receive some advice?

[oceanlegends]

Hello. My name is Al, I live in paraguay. I've grown up with a verbally abusive father and a brother. I was socially awkward in school and I dropped out of university. The only job I ever got was in a money exchange house and I only lasted a month there and the only reason I got it was because of my godfather who nowadays doesn't want anything to do with me and I suspect it's because I'm homosexual. When I came out of the closet to my brother at 16 he outed me to my sister who outed me to my parents, and because of that I have trouble trusting anyone and I developed some form of apathy for the world around me. I was rejected and told I was gonna get kicked out so I told them I was just confused. a year later I got caught chatting with men online by my brother and I had no other choise but to tell the truth, then my brother treated to kill himself if I didn't say I was lying so I got back in the closet. The next year I came out of the closet definitively and my brother tried to commit suicide, not only that he became mentally ill. at 24 year old, in 2015 I met a guy nicknamed Velkan, he was the first person ever that accepted be just as I am from the first minute. He didn't even bat an eye. Not only that, he came everyday to see my plays at the lan house and told me how good I was and he genuinely wanted to play with me. One day I was feeling down, and I went to the lan house even though I didn't have any money to play. Then he came and we talked and I told I didn't want to live anymore, then he smiled at me and comforted me and he's the same type of guy that would tell you he would kill you if you tried to hit on him if you're a guy but at the same time he had this strange smile that just tells you "you are my friend, you're special to me". that day he paid hours to play with me. in 2017 I went to try university again so we distanced ourselves a bit, that year in november he commited suicide. and I was heartbroken. I quit university and pretty much life altogether. I spend 2018 drowning in a void of sorrow and grief. I created a comic book storyboard and I created a character based on my friend. and nowadays the only purpose of my life is that comic book. I don't care about anything. I don't care about love, relationships. All I care about is to be able to fund this comic book.. So I'm trying to come up with a plan to fund it. I don't think I'll be able to get a job.
So far this is the only plan that I have work with Dropshipping on shopify using the in-app Oberlo work as a streamer playing games that I enjoy
problem is, shopify requires a bank account with an international credit card and I don't have one and I can't say it would be easy task to get one because banks in PY are very bureaucratic. they require so many things and proof of income that I don't have. and they even require you to deposit at least 2000 dollars which I don't have either. minimum wage is like 350 dollars here. a friend of mine told me that in paraguay they do everything they can to avoid personal economic growth because corporations and government don't want people to empower themselves. which is why even paypal is only avaliable in paraguay to do payments and not receive money. I'm not sure if it's an actual conspiracy but there are many services that are avaliable in all south americs except paraguay. So yeah.. I just wanted to get this off my chest.?
If you're curious about the comic book, I started a blog but so far.. I only made one post about it https://synccomics.blogspot.com/2019/05/i-dont-know-if-anybody-is-going-to-read.html