2024 ruined my life financially but gave rebirth to my spiritually. My darkest night of the soul has left me with a profound appreciation of life itself. This is part of my story.
I am an eco-friendly landscaper specializing in urban gardens that protect wildlife, produce food, and use water wisely. I have been in business for as long as I have been a single mom: 9 years.
I recently broke free from a very abusive 6-year relationship with my boyfriend, Jake, who was also a partial business partner. He took my family for $30,000 in insurance fraud. He ran the invoices through my business and then took off with the money. I picked myself up from all that and kept going without him. He consistently mind-fucked me and came back into my life, convincing me I was alone and had no one, taking more from me every time. I put my foot down in June of this year, thanks to an unexpected hire, Alex /, who helped me see the light and find safety in him. I said goodbye to Jake during a trying time with my business. This is just a little bit on my year. I didn’t know how much to add or leave out. I wrote a lot in a diary and some this came from those writings. I have a case but I can’t afford an attorney. My soul says let it go and focus my energy on doing what I do best: finding solutions for the less fortunate. I’m struggling to help myself right now. This is a story of abuse, betrayal, mental healt, physical health, and the bright side of it all. The true will to live and give. Here is where I tap you in:
This woman Mia hired me to create a “food forest” for her. She had two trees cut down, and I used every part of the tree to create a dead hedge and raised garden beds. I took up a wonky concrete sidewalk, which I had to move twice because she couldn’t make up her mind where to put them. I created a shady sitting area under a tree with the concrete slabs. It was a task in itself to get the concrete removed from the original spot and then have to move them twice.
During the major part of the job, where we were reshaping her land, taking up the concrete, moving logs and branches, tearing out the now cut-down tree's root systems, etc., she left for a vacation. While on vacation, we discovered that in the area she wanted a rain garden, there was a PVC pipe running under her sidewalk into pipes that did not have the correct grade, were broken, and clogged. I called her to let her know a dry creek bed would be better suited. I explained to her that it would cost more, but it would be worth it. She agreed verbally over the phone. I adjusted the invoice to match the material cost and work that would be done by $3,000. She was okay with it.
She returned from vacation unhappy about a double-stacked rain barrel system that was custom built by my team because of its placement. I agreed that it was not the original plan and that we would gladly move it. She then changed her mind and liked the placement. She was upset about a very small bed that was extended to go around a clothesline post. We fixed it. She insulted my character verbally, and it totally took the wind out of my sails. I wanted to stop work right there and not finish the job, but I couldn’t live with myself if I did that. I did everything she asked to be fixed. I don’t lose my cool. I stayed calm and gentle even though my heart ached from the audacity. I had been working late the entire time she was on vacation and accused me of lying about how long and hard we worked. I bucked up and pushed forward.
After fixing what she asked and modifying the job verbally, she seemed happy. I had gifted her plants from my own garden and bought her vegetable plants from a plant sale with my own money. It was only out of kindness I did this because I thought I understood where her heart was with taking in people who have bad rental history or no place to go.
I had hired two men from a rehab program who had just moved in with her. They needed work, a chance, and a leg up. They also needed to pay Mia $200 every week for rent. I paid them daily, fronted one of them cash to purchase and fix a truck, made sure they had food, bought them work boots, and did my best to make sure they had everything they needed while working with me. Unfortunately, I had to let them go after setting a boundary with them about daily pay. They didn’t respect my boundary, and I could no longer conduct business professionally with them. It sucked. It was a hard choice, but it was obvious where the money was going at that point. A week later, one of them got arrested on a possession charge.
We finished the job. Frankly, I didn’t quite understand why she didn’t want us to lay mulch down in areas that she had originally wanted. She didn’t want me to do the dry creek bed because she couldn’t afford to pay me. I did the groundwork with the machine to make it easier on the next person because I know it would be super hard to do it by hand at no extra cost. I adjusted the invoice. After a big rain, I asked her if she wanted me to come finesse the groundwork I did for the dry creek bed so it drained properly until she could get whoever she said was going to do it out there to do it. I was not going to charge her. She said she had it covered. She accused me of stealing a post hole digger; I told her I didn’t have it, and then she later learned someone else had it.
Two weeks later, I got these text messages. I was heartbroken and confused. I did everything she asked me to do. I always told her I would be here to tweak things and modify things as the ground heals. She never would tell me what I could fix. Instead, she called me names and belittled me. I tried to call her. I texted her. She would not give me answers on how to fix what went wrong.
I don’t know what to do at this point other than put it out there for the public to see that I tried. She is making me out to be a monster, and I’m not. She has hurt my business. I hurt my business more by giving this attention. I should have just ignored this. I didn’t.
She got someone who also was a client who I thought was my friend, Sara, on board to slander me as well. It has been really hard to deal with because both of them never expressed that they were upset. Sara made me feel like she was a safe place for me. She has pushed me to share very detailed info about the trauma I experienced from my 6-year-long abusive relationship and childhood. She told me over and over that she was a safe place to share anything with. She would call me daily to pry and see how I was over the winter. Sara posed as an advocate for women in domestic violence situations. She offered money and support where needed. I told her everything. We didn’t stay close but were still in contact here and there. She came to get manure from me in March, which I delivered and placed exactly where she wanted. I did her job a year ago, and she never expressed that she was upset. Directly after Mia’s unhappy post, Sara posted a very long narrative that was mainly untrue about the work I did at her house. In this public post on social media, she added in the very personal details that I opened up to her about my toxic and very abusive relationship. She put very sensitive details online without my consent in an extremely rude manner. I was blindsided. This just sent me over the edge. Sara is running for state representative. I’m thinking this has to be a mistake. I call her. I leave a voicemail as my voice cracks from crying. She never responded. I don’t know why she did this to me.
My life has been filled with abuse since I could retain memories as a child. Whether it was from a parent figure, neighbor, peer, and now into my adult life. I was kicked out when I was 16 over a bag of pot my mom helped me buy. She was two-faced. My stepdad was a heroin addict trying to recover. I was a problem with my hidden bag of weed. So at 16, I was without a roof over my head, no income, trying to finish high school while worrying about next meal, and begging for a warm place to rest my head in the winter. I slept in garages, with men much older than me, and sometimes in cars with no heat in the dead of winter. I ended up getting pneumonia and then got kicked out of high school. I was crushed. I was working so hard to get a scholarship in journalism. I showed talent and strength in writing at the time. The school’s journalism teacher advanced me quickly in my studies and my position on the newspaper crew. He was the one that introduced me to the idea of Northwest University and also tried to get guardianship over me so I could finish out high school. It was a horrible period of time for me. I was bullied by girls that saw me as a threat, making it harder to perform in school. At 36, I am still bullied by women. These two women, Mia and Sara, another woman this summer, Emily, swooped up my toxic ex after convincing me he sexually assaulted her to get me to leave him, has started to sink her claws in. I have a friend whom I thought was close who allowed his girlfriend to lie about me so she didn’t look like a sloppy drunk. This is just 2024. Every year I have faced challenges with women and men I never expected.
I’m not a bitch. I’m not mouthy. I don’t know everything. I am not competitive. I hate confrontation.
I am always here to help. I am always a phone call away. I will not judge. I am gentle. I am tall. I am blonde. I have the greenest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. I am a pretty girl with some brains. I don’t use my looks to get what I want. Therefore, I have worked hard to learn and understand everything I use to make a living and get through life. It has been hell up until now.
I haven’t felt safe or secure until I met Alex. Alex showed up in June out of nowhere. My daughter and I say he saved us. He saved us from the never-ending cycle I had with Jake. Chloe and I endured 6 years of abuse from Jake until Alex helped me realize that what was happening wasn’t validated. Alex came when I called out of fear of Jake’s angry outbursts; he protected Chloe and me. He stayed with us for safety measures at first, and then he stayed because we fell in love. My first true love is Alex. He loves us just the way we are. He allows us to heal. He makes us laugh. He guides gently out of the dark. He has softened me and allowed me to let my creativity outshine the negative thoughts. I started painting again. He has convinced me I’m an artist (easy sell because we all are, in my eyes) and that I need to have art shows (not an easy sell). That I’m talented in ways outside of surviving and making money. He has helped me take care of my daughter while my depression manifested into extreme physical illness. He tried to help me with my landscape company as my only employee, but due to the specialization of the work, he couldn’t work unless I was working. I spent more time bedridden this year than I spent actually living. I got Covid, then a back injury, then something like a 4-week flu. I was so weak. I had sleep paralysis almost nightly, leading to what seemed like seizures. My mind and body was shutting down. Bills got behind. My credit score went from a 700 to a 500. My income from landscaping came to a complete halt in October. A community college promised us work for the entire fall and winter. The guy in our chain of contact promised us to pay us immediately after work was completed since I overlooked the lack of deposit. He lied. We didn’t get paid until 3 weeks later. By this time my bank account was in the negative. The check was shorted, and there was no more work. He showed himself after he forgot he offered me bricks for free that the college wanted to get off the property. He called and tried to barter our time for the bricks. I told him it wasn’t a fair trade and went weeks without hearing from him. He responded like he meant to text me weeks ago and that bricks were free to take. I have held back on writing the president of this college. We didn’t advertise and lost work, didn’t get paid properly, and we are now in a financial position I can’t recoup from.
I got sick again. The stress. The stress ate me alive. My bank account is negative $800, credit cards maxed out, debts to suppliers, behind on my bills. I am about to file for bankruptcy over $18,000. I have filed for emotional bankruptcy already.
My ex pops back into my life on a fake number. He tries to sabotage the only thing I have left: my relationship with Alex by sending Alex videos Jake took without my knowledge of our sex life when we were together years ago. He lied to Alex and stated I was going to leave him. It was a mess. Alex held through it all. Then Alex’s ex pulls the same card a week before Christmas. It was insane.
Meanwhile, Alex has moved in. After landing a job at a great place in town, all we had to do was patiently wait for the start date and first paycheck that eventually got pushed back by 3 weeks. He has a warrant for wrecking my truck back in July. He didn’t know his license and insurance was expired due to his ex pretending to be his friend. She withheld this mail from him. He cashed out on his 401k check to pay me back and to retain a lawyer. The check got stolen in the mail. Seven months later, the check and accident have still not been resolved due to lack of funds.
We have been through hell. My daughter, my best friend, and I have survived hell this year. We have each other, but we don’t know what is ahead of us. I just want stability so badly for once in my life. It’s Christmas, and I have nothing to my name. My other truck needs new wiring, and the heat doesn’t work. I fell down my basement stairs last night and think I broke my tailbone. This morning I learn my daughter won’t see her baby brother from another mother due to childish and selfish reasons out of our control. It never ends.
I am not a victim, though. I am a survivor. I strongly believe that this chaos is almost over. I found my person; my daughter is healthy, and I am alive. My daughter and I have a man that wants to protect us and loves us. We have so much to be thankful for.
I am an entrepreneur. I am a manifestor. I am here for a reason. I can change the world for the better by shining bright through hell. I can be of service in time again. I have so many business plans ready that benefit the community in ways every community needs. Mainly focused on keeping things out of landfills and processing them for resale in a way that is morning attractive but efficient.
This is going to be okay. I just need a Christmas miracle. I just need one chance to start over with a clean slate so I can focus on how my strength and life lessons can benefit the greater good. I just need one chance to get myself out of this hole and back to a place where I can focus and not stress. My body is trying to heal but it is so hard when I witness my financial situation potentially ruin my moments now and my future.
Last year, I adopted two single moms for Christmas. This year, I need to be adopted. Anything helps.
Thank you for your consideration and thank you for believing in me.
https://cash.app/$CritterP777
https://venmo.com/u/CritterP88
PayPal: beekindcandleco@gmail.com
I am an eco-friendly landscaper specializing in urban gardens that protect wildlife, produce food, and use water wisely. I have been in business for as long as I have been a single mom: 9 years.
I recently broke free from a very abusive 6-year relationship with my boyfriend, Jake, who was also a partial business partner. He took my family for $30,000 in insurance fraud. He ran the invoices through my business and then took off with the money. I picked myself up from all that and kept going without him. He consistently mind-fucked me and came back into my life, convincing me I was alone and had no one, taking more from me every time. I put my foot down in June of this year, thanks to an unexpected hire, Alex /, who helped me see the light and find safety in him. I said goodbye to Jake during a trying time with my business. This is just a little bit on my year. I didn’t know how much to add or leave out. I wrote a lot in a diary and some this came from those writings. I have a case but I can’t afford an attorney. My soul says let it go and focus my energy on doing what I do best: finding solutions for the less fortunate. I’m struggling to help myself right now. This is a story of abuse, betrayal, mental healt, physical health, and the bright side of it all. The true will to live and give. Here is where I tap you in:
This woman Mia hired me to create a “food forest” for her. She had two trees cut down, and I used every part of the tree to create a dead hedge and raised garden beds. I took up a wonky concrete sidewalk, which I had to move twice because she couldn’t make up her mind where to put them. I created a shady sitting area under a tree with the concrete slabs. It was a task in itself to get the concrete removed from the original spot and then have to move them twice.
During the major part of the job, where we were reshaping her land, taking up the concrete, moving logs and branches, tearing out the now cut-down tree's root systems, etc., she left for a vacation. While on vacation, we discovered that in the area she wanted a rain garden, there was a PVC pipe running under her sidewalk into pipes that did not have the correct grade, were broken, and clogged. I called her to let her know a dry creek bed would be better suited. I explained to her that it would cost more, but it would be worth it. She agreed verbally over the phone. I adjusted the invoice to match the material cost and work that would be done by $3,000. She was okay with it.
She returned from vacation unhappy about a double-stacked rain barrel system that was custom built by my team because of its placement. I agreed that it was not the original plan and that we would gladly move it. She then changed her mind and liked the placement. She was upset about a very small bed that was extended to go around a clothesline post. We fixed it. She insulted my character verbally, and it totally took the wind out of my sails. I wanted to stop work right there and not finish the job, but I couldn’t live with myself if I did that. I did everything she asked to be fixed. I don’t lose my cool. I stayed calm and gentle even though my heart ached from the audacity. I had been working late the entire time she was on vacation and accused me of lying about how long and hard we worked. I bucked up and pushed forward.
After fixing what she asked and modifying the job verbally, she seemed happy. I had gifted her plants from my own garden and bought her vegetable plants from a plant sale with my own money. It was only out of kindness I did this because I thought I understood where her heart was with taking in people who have bad rental history or no place to go.
I had hired two men from a rehab program who had just moved in with her. They needed work, a chance, and a leg up. They also needed to pay Mia $200 every week for rent. I paid them daily, fronted one of them cash to purchase and fix a truck, made sure they had food, bought them work boots, and did my best to make sure they had everything they needed while working with me. Unfortunately, I had to let them go after setting a boundary with them about daily pay. They didn’t respect my boundary, and I could no longer conduct business professionally with them. It sucked. It was a hard choice, but it was obvious where the money was going at that point. A week later, one of them got arrested on a possession charge.
We finished the job. Frankly, I didn’t quite understand why she didn’t want us to lay mulch down in areas that she had originally wanted. She didn’t want me to do the dry creek bed because she couldn’t afford to pay me. I did the groundwork with the machine to make it easier on the next person because I know it would be super hard to do it by hand at no extra cost. I adjusted the invoice. After a big rain, I asked her if she wanted me to come finesse the groundwork I did for the dry creek bed so it drained properly until she could get whoever she said was going to do it out there to do it. I was not going to charge her. She said she had it covered. She accused me of stealing a post hole digger; I told her I didn’t have it, and then she later learned someone else had it.
Two weeks later, I got these text messages. I was heartbroken and confused. I did everything she asked me to do. I always told her I would be here to tweak things and modify things as the ground heals. She never would tell me what I could fix. Instead, she called me names and belittled me. I tried to call her. I texted her. She would not give me answers on how to fix what went wrong.
I don’t know what to do at this point other than put it out there for the public to see that I tried. She is making me out to be a monster, and I’m not. She has hurt my business. I hurt my business more by giving this attention. I should have just ignored this. I didn’t.
She got someone who also was a client who I thought was my friend, Sara, on board to slander me as well. It has been really hard to deal with because both of them never expressed that they were upset. Sara made me feel like she was a safe place for me. She has pushed me to share very detailed info about the trauma I experienced from my 6-year-long abusive relationship and childhood. She told me over and over that she was a safe place to share anything with. She would call me daily to pry and see how I was over the winter. Sara posed as an advocate for women in domestic violence situations. She offered money and support where needed. I told her everything. We didn’t stay close but were still in contact here and there. She came to get manure from me in March, which I delivered and placed exactly where she wanted. I did her job a year ago, and she never expressed that she was upset. Directly after Mia’s unhappy post, Sara posted a very long narrative that was mainly untrue about the work I did at her house. In this public post on social media, she added in the very personal details that I opened up to her about my toxic and very abusive relationship. She put very sensitive details online without my consent in an extremely rude manner. I was blindsided. This just sent me over the edge. Sara is running for state representative. I’m thinking this has to be a mistake. I call her. I leave a voicemail as my voice cracks from crying. She never responded. I don’t know why she did this to me.
My life has been filled with abuse since I could retain memories as a child. Whether it was from a parent figure, neighbor, peer, and now into my adult life. I was kicked out when I was 16 over a bag of pot my mom helped me buy. She was two-faced. My stepdad was a heroin addict trying to recover. I was a problem with my hidden bag of weed. So at 16, I was without a roof over my head, no income, trying to finish high school while worrying about next meal, and begging for a warm place to rest my head in the winter. I slept in garages, with men much older than me, and sometimes in cars with no heat in the dead of winter. I ended up getting pneumonia and then got kicked out of high school. I was crushed. I was working so hard to get a scholarship in journalism. I showed talent and strength in writing at the time. The school’s journalism teacher advanced me quickly in my studies and my position on the newspaper crew. He was the one that introduced me to the idea of Northwest University and also tried to get guardianship over me so I could finish out high school. It was a horrible period of time for me. I was bullied by girls that saw me as a threat, making it harder to perform in school. At 36, I am still bullied by women. These two women, Mia and Sara, another woman this summer, Emily, swooped up my toxic ex after convincing me he sexually assaulted her to get me to leave him, has started to sink her claws in. I have a friend whom I thought was close who allowed his girlfriend to lie about me so she didn’t look like a sloppy drunk. This is just 2024. Every year I have faced challenges with women and men I never expected.
I’m not a bitch. I’m not mouthy. I don’t know everything. I am not competitive. I hate confrontation.
I am always here to help. I am always a phone call away. I will not judge. I am gentle. I am tall. I am blonde. I have the greenest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. I am a pretty girl with some brains. I don’t use my looks to get what I want. Therefore, I have worked hard to learn and understand everything I use to make a living and get through life. It has been hell up until now.
I haven’t felt safe or secure until I met Alex. Alex showed up in June out of nowhere. My daughter and I say he saved us. He saved us from the never-ending cycle I had with Jake. Chloe and I endured 6 years of abuse from Jake until Alex helped me realize that what was happening wasn’t validated. Alex came when I called out of fear of Jake’s angry outbursts; he protected Chloe and me. He stayed with us for safety measures at first, and then he stayed because we fell in love. My first true love is Alex. He loves us just the way we are. He allows us to heal. He makes us laugh. He guides gently out of the dark. He has softened me and allowed me to let my creativity outshine the negative thoughts. I started painting again. He has convinced me I’m an artist (easy sell because we all are, in my eyes) and that I need to have art shows (not an easy sell). That I’m talented in ways outside of surviving and making money. He has helped me take care of my daughter while my depression manifested into extreme physical illness. He tried to help me with my landscape company as my only employee, but due to the specialization of the work, he couldn’t work unless I was working. I spent more time bedridden this year than I spent actually living. I got Covid, then a back injury, then something like a 4-week flu. I was so weak. I had sleep paralysis almost nightly, leading to what seemed like seizures. My mind and body was shutting down. Bills got behind. My credit score went from a 700 to a 500. My income from landscaping came to a complete halt in October. A community college promised us work for the entire fall and winter. The guy in our chain of contact promised us to pay us immediately after work was completed since I overlooked the lack of deposit. He lied. We didn’t get paid until 3 weeks later. By this time my bank account was in the negative. The check was shorted, and there was no more work. He showed himself after he forgot he offered me bricks for free that the college wanted to get off the property. He called and tried to barter our time for the bricks. I told him it wasn’t a fair trade and went weeks without hearing from him. He responded like he meant to text me weeks ago and that bricks were free to take. I have held back on writing the president of this college. We didn’t advertise and lost work, didn’t get paid properly, and we are now in a financial position I can’t recoup from.
I got sick again. The stress. The stress ate me alive. My bank account is negative $800, credit cards maxed out, debts to suppliers, behind on my bills. I am about to file for bankruptcy over $18,000. I have filed for emotional bankruptcy already.
My ex pops back into my life on a fake number. He tries to sabotage the only thing I have left: my relationship with Alex by sending Alex videos Jake took without my knowledge of our sex life when we were together years ago. He lied to Alex and stated I was going to leave him. It was a mess. Alex held through it all. Then Alex’s ex pulls the same card a week before Christmas. It was insane.
Meanwhile, Alex has moved in. After landing a job at a great place in town, all we had to do was patiently wait for the start date and first paycheck that eventually got pushed back by 3 weeks. He has a warrant for wrecking my truck back in July. He didn’t know his license and insurance was expired due to his ex pretending to be his friend. She withheld this mail from him. He cashed out on his 401k check to pay me back and to retain a lawyer. The check got stolen in the mail. Seven months later, the check and accident have still not been resolved due to lack of funds.
We have been through hell. My daughter, my best friend, and I have survived hell this year. We have each other, but we don’t know what is ahead of us. I just want stability so badly for once in my life. It’s Christmas, and I have nothing to my name. My other truck needs new wiring, and the heat doesn’t work. I fell down my basement stairs last night and think I broke my tailbone. This morning I learn my daughter won’t see her baby brother from another mother due to childish and selfish reasons out of our control. It never ends.
I am not a victim, though. I am a survivor. I strongly believe that this chaos is almost over. I found my person; my daughter is healthy, and I am alive. My daughter and I have a man that wants to protect us and loves us. We have so much to be thankful for.
I am an entrepreneur. I am a manifestor. I am here for a reason. I can change the world for the better by shining bright through hell. I can be of service in time again. I have so many business plans ready that benefit the community in ways every community needs. Mainly focused on keeping things out of landfills and processing them for resale in a way that is morning attractive but efficient.
This is going to be okay. I just need a Christmas miracle. I just need one chance to start over with a clean slate so I can focus on how my strength and life lessons can benefit the greater good. I just need one chance to get myself out of this hole and back to a place where I can focus and not stress. My body is trying to heal but it is so hard when I witness my financial situation potentially ruin my moments now and my future.
Last year, I adopted two single moms for Christmas. This year, I need to be adopted. Anything helps.
Thank you for your consideration and thank you for believing in me.
https://cash.app/$CritterP777
https://venmo.com/u/CritterP88
PayPal: beekindcandleco@gmail.com