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hopeless situation- need help
#1
This is the most broken I have ever felt in my life. I thought I found the most wonderful guy ever. We just worked and then after I moved in with him, we didn’t. He changed and it wasn’t a little change- it was like he was a completely different person. The change was so dramatic that I was certain he was cheating on me. After some intense investigation, I realized that he had a drug problem. I had never been around anyone on meth so I had no idea what I was seeing. I thought I could fix it. I thought that I could love him enough to make him stop. I was wrong. Every time I was sure I couldn’t take anymore, I would see a glimpse of the old him and decide that I needed to try harder.
When he didn’t have any drugs, he would do the most horrible things. He would throw food at me while I slept, and break my things. He caused me to lose my emt license so I couldn’t work. It had come down to the last minute for me to recertify my license. I was having to pay for everything because he quit his job and the class I needed to take to recertify was $400. I finally got that paid and it came down to the day of the test. We live out in the country and didn’t have wifi so I was having to use the hotspot on his phone. He had to go to the store and he double checked the time of my test and left. He just didn’t come back. I called and called but he didn’t answer. When he finally showed up hours later, he just came in and acted as if nothing was wrong. He didn’t even address it. I finally did and he just screamed at me, said it was my fault and tried to physically throw me out of the door. He had been gone to get drugs and he just didn’t come back. So, at this point, he destroyed my ability to work. The psychological warfare started next. I never do anything right. Im fat, etc etc
I began doing work online in order to make money but it has never been quite enough to get out. I have two dogs and they have been my only friends. When he is out of drugs, he sleeps a lot. There would be periods of weeks where it would just be me and my dogs. I have not been able to go to a shelter because I cant leave them here.
The CTS Antitheft System Control Module in my car needs to be replaced and I am unable to afford it.I have watched youtube videos, hoping I could fix it myself but so far, I have been unsuccessful.  It is going to cost around $800 to get it fixed ( repairs and towing).
I cant seem to make enough to get my car fixed and get out.  I feel so defeated and hopeless. I need help. I cant believe that I am in this place and that I didn’t see this coming, It was a total blindside. If anyone has any ideas or can contribute in any way, I would be most thankful. Prayers, more than anything is what I need. I just feel so broken.
Before I became an emt. I was a grant writer and I know how to build websites. I am more than willing to work for any contributions if anyone needs work like this done.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

paypal.me/lauratippins
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