Single mom of 3 needs assistance

[SaraV]

[attachment=898][attachment=899]My name is Sara. I'm a 37 year old mother of 3. Two teenagers, and a 2.5 year old. My son (14) is Special Needs(Autism Spectrum Disorder). My husband of 13years, and father of my 2 teens was killed in 2016 in a car accident on his way to work. His death was devastating to our family. Our life prior to his passing was beautiful and perfect, I was the happiest woman on earth, with happy, thriving children, but all that was ripped away in a single moment, and our lives haven't been the same since. My following relationship had turned into a very scary, abusive situation that my kids & I thank God escaped from eventually after many attempts to remove him from our lives, and by the grace of God survived, but left me emotionally broken, and traumatized, with literally nothing. I was fired from my job because I missed work after being beat up bad the night before, homeless from not being able to pay rent, and my car repossessed. Not long after,  I found out I was pregnant. Since then I've been fighting with everything I've got to rebuild my life, and become a strong, independent, single mother that my kids can be proud of. I needed to get some professional help before moving forward, so I did. I have been sober from alcohol for almost 3 years now after completing 16 months of rehab (inpatient, then outpatient)  The unexpected birth of my beautiful baby girl has made it hard to become financially stable on my own. Her father isn't in the picture, and is avoiding child support payments. The only family I have is my mom, and she is unable to provide child care for a toddler due to her medical issues, leaving it impossible for me to work until she can be enrolled in preschool. I have little side jobs from home to earn money here and there, but it isn't covering all my expenses. I have $23 dollars cash on hand right now to last me another week.   My cars check engine light is on, and I also have a DMV bill for renewal, and smog check. My car will not pass smog because of that check engine light, and I cannot afford to have the car looked at, let alone fixed. I don't even have the money to pay for the renewal or smog.  Its just not in my budget in the foreseeable future. I'm going to end up with no car, a 16 year old, a 2 year old, and a special needs teenager if i cant find help somewhere. I'm already barely getting my monthly bills paid at the moment. I worry about my sobriety at this point, because I wake up everyday very stressed, and angry that things are like this. The stress is making it hard for me to be a good mom which kills me. I can't eat or sleep. I am in desperate need of assistance. I try so hard to hold it all in and act like everything is okay in front of my children, but at this point they can tell somethings wrong, they just don't know what. I fear everything will begin to crumble soon. I've worked so hard to get to where I am today, with high hopes and aspirations for my future, and my children's future, and it just isn't happening the way I thought it would no matter how hard I try. Once my baby is old enough for preschool I will be able to work but until then I am stuck in this situation which is a very scary place to be for a single mother. I'm scared I will ultimately lose my kids somehow. That CAN'T happen. I know times are hard for a lot of people right now, and we all have our struggles in life, but I just don't have any financial support to fall back on. I would be forever grateful for any help given to my children and I. I know what its like to lose everything, and it is my number 1 fear to go through that again. I can't fail my kids. I'm the only parent they have left, and I'm doing everything I know to do but its just not enough at this moment in time. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and hope you have a beautiful, and blessed day.  
PayPal: paypal.me/SaraVittelli