So my name is Nick Schoff. I'm from Nashua, NH. I currently reside in an apartment with some high school friends as roommates. I'm 19 years old, still without a license. My parents have always refused to help me growing up. Always refused to help me get my license, get a job, move out, get my life together really. Everything I've done with my life up to this point, i have done on my own. I've always gotten my own jobs. I've moved out on my own with my own money i saved. Always. The only help I've ever taken was from some good friends. Being on your own at my age, without a license or any parental guidance or financial support is one of the hardest things you can possibly imagine. The stress of that independence with nothing to fall back on, no college education or way to go to college, not much life/job experience or credit, no reliable car or license. That stress is excruciating. I've fallen to a bad spot in my life. I've recently bought a car so i could take the risk and teach myself to drive since i have no other ways to learn, and it turns out i bought a car with a lot of electrical problems. My car has been dead sitting in a Walmart parking lot for about 4 weeks now. Its truly a miracle it hasn't been towed yet, because i cant afford that. To make matters worse i also lost my job. Yep, living on my own with no job, no transportation to get another job, no money or income to fix my broken car car to get that transportation. I'm pretty much fucked. I'm in a cycle of stagnation and i'm helpless. I cant do anything but watch the rest of my saving go down the drain.
Now i guess ill take a minute to talk about more of my fucked up life situation. So about 8 months ago i developed an awful health condition. To be more specific, a digestive disorder of sorts. I've been to the hospital about 10 or more times; getting every exam and test known to man trying to figure it out. I even had to get a colonoscopy and endoscopy at my age just to try and figure out exactly whats wrong with me. After all those test and exams my condition is still unknown. I get this unbearable abdominal pain and cramps constantly. Constant diarrhea with practically everything i eat. There's no patterns with my eating and when i get symptoms. I've practically stopped eating because everything makes me sick to my stomach. I get nauseous and light headed to the point where i could barely go to work up until the point i lost my job. Every doctor or specialist I've seen is unable to diagnose it. I've racked up over a grand of medical bills i cant pay, that i cant afford. I need to go back soon but i really just cant afford it. I cant afford to be healthy. It's so frustrating. All this stress, all this frustration. Its eating away at me. To the point where i have become depressed. To be honest, i am at the point of being constantly suicidal and it scares the hell out of me. I don't want to be this way. I recently have gotten my heart broken yet again by someone i truly loved. I'm alone and scared. I just keep thinking to myself that i don't deserve this, i'm not a bad person, what did i do wrong? My health and my depression are affecting my quality of life but i just don't have any strength left to fight it. I'm about to lose the one thing i have left; my apartment. I cant lose my home, i just cant. I have no where to go. Literally no where. I dont want to become one of those homeless people you see walking down the streets of Boston. Life is just becoming impossible. I envy those who have it easy, have the money to fall back on, have the people to fall back on. I've never had that in my life. Im on my own and its so hard. I'm no different than anyone else. I have dreams and ambitions for my life. I want to go to college for music production, i want my band to go somewhere, I want to move, i want to experience everything beautiful in life, i want to fall in love and get married. Im just like everyone else. Except things arent easy for me. Im sick, mentally and physically, and just plain screwed over. I want to be happy. I want things to get better. I really do.
So that being said, if you want to help me i'd appreciate more than anything. I'm stuck in this hole and even the smallest help would let me get my life back on track.
My paypal.me is: https://www.paypal.me/NSchoff
Now i guess ill take a minute to talk about more of my fucked up life situation. So about 8 months ago i developed an awful health condition. To be more specific, a digestive disorder of sorts. I've been to the hospital about 10 or more times; getting every exam and test known to man trying to figure it out. I even had to get a colonoscopy and endoscopy at my age just to try and figure out exactly whats wrong with me. After all those test and exams my condition is still unknown. I get this unbearable abdominal pain and cramps constantly. Constant diarrhea with practically everything i eat. There's no patterns with my eating and when i get symptoms. I've practically stopped eating because everything makes me sick to my stomach. I get nauseous and light headed to the point where i could barely go to work up until the point i lost my job. Every doctor or specialist I've seen is unable to diagnose it. I've racked up over a grand of medical bills i cant pay, that i cant afford. I need to go back soon but i really just cant afford it. I cant afford to be healthy. It's so frustrating. All this stress, all this frustration. Its eating away at me. To the point where i have become depressed. To be honest, i am at the point of being constantly suicidal and it scares the hell out of me. I don't want to be this way. I recently have gotten my heart broken yet again by someone i truly loved. I'm alone and scared. I just keep thinking to myself that i don't deserve this, i'm not a bad person, what did i do wrong? My health and my depression are affecting my quality of life but i just don't have any strength left to fight it. I'm about to lose the one thing i have left; my apartment. I cant lose my home, i just cant. I have no where to go. Literally no where. I dont want to become one of those homeless people you see walking down the streets of Boston. Life is just becoming impossible. I envy those who have it easy, have the money to fall back on, have the people to fall back on. I've never had that in my life. Im on my own and its so hard. I'm no different than anyone else. I have dreams and ambitions for my life. I want to go to college for music production, i want my band to go somewhere, I want to move, i want to experience everything beautiful in life, i want to fall in love and get married. Im just like everyone else. Except things arent easy for me. Im sick, mentally and physically, and just plain screwed over. I want to be happy. I want things to get better. I really do.
So that being said, if you want to help me i'd appreciate more than anything. I'm stuck in this hole and even the smallest help would let me get my life back on track.
My paypal.me is: https://www.paypal.me/NSchoff
-Thank you for at least listening to my story