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My name is Cynthia Casiano. I am currently a senior at an all-girl high school and will soon be graduating. These past four months have been very stressful and challenging and I know for a fact that they will continue to be that way after graduation. From not knowing that I was expecting to finding out and to finally accepting it has been a long journey, however, it is this arduous journey that has empowered me to write to all of you about my very own hopes and dreams for the next four years and to ask you not only to help me get there, but to be part of the next four years of my life.
A few months ago, it was confirmed that I was expecting. In fact, I'm about to start my third trimester pretty soon and I have realized that I am yet to be prepared. Frankly, feeling lost and anguished after finding out about my pregnancy, led me to stop my search for colleges. I believed that there was no point since (1) I was going to be a mom and (2) my responsibility in taking care of my child would be a full time job. I had the very same views and outlooks on life that most teen moms have when they're expecting. Recently though, after speaking to close friends and counselors, I received a much greater insight on why I should keep following the same dreams I had during my freshman year.
When I gave the news to my parents, unfortunately like any other parent, they were pretty disappointed and extremely furious. They stated that they would no longer be supporting me financially throughout and after the pregnancy. This was devastating news not only for me but also for the father of my unborn child. My parents became very indifferent about him, and while it was understandable at that time, I hoped that it was going to change at least a little. I am now past half of my pregnancy and it seems that nothing has changed. Although my mother has begun to support me, I know that the father of my child is still and will be a problem in the future. While his parents are more supportive than mine, it is still an issue for me because I don't want them to be held liable for my problems with me and my parents. In a perfect world, both of my parents and both of his parents would be ecstatic and abetting, but realistically, not everyone is going to be by my side. I currently reside in my parents home, but I am forced to leave my parent's house after I give birth. I am planning to stay with my child's father and currently my boyfriend, but only for the fall because I did receive good news three weeks ago.
My long-time goal has been to become an Interior Designer, and after getting accepted to the University of North Texas, my number one top college, I figured it would give me the best experience in accomplishing my dream. My financial status, however, is still in question. Because I couldn't provide my parent's information, and because I would no longer be a dependent student under my parents, I had to apply as an independent. So far, I have gotten letters notifying me that I am under verification, which is comprehensible based on my situation, but knowing that I have to commit pretty soon makes me very anxious. I won't be starting college in the fall this year because my due date is so close to when college classes start, but I will be starting in the spring of 2017.
There is just one problem in all of this. Money. Like many others who are struggling and who need help financially, money is what is keeping me from reaching this. I will be raising a child soon and my economic status puts me in a very tough spot. I won't be able to raise enough money on my own for college and for my baby, and while his parents are supporting me, I know that they won't be the sole providers for him, because of course, that is my job. I would have wished to be a stay at home mom, but with my boyfriend earning barely enough for the both of us, I realize that I will have to get a job too and have someone take care of my child.
I am not asking for financial help to help raise my baby, but rather to be able to help me raise money for the next four years that I will be attending college. Based on my actions, I'm the only person that is accountable for tending my child and the last I want, is for someone else to provide more to my child than I can. I know it's going to be a harder task, but it is not impossible. I have applied to some scholarships, but there is a lot of competition and while I do put my hardest effort and dedication in all of them, it is still quite hard for someone to actually win the scholarship, that is why I am asking all of you to lend a hand. They money that I hope to be raised will be used to pay for my college expenses, that is including my tuition, my books and supplies, the college room and board, and extra fees. One thing that I will also mention is that because of my economic status, I will have to take out loans. Yes, I understand that loans is a huge burden, and while I wish I didn't have to take them out, I have to make sure that in case I can't keep paying my dream college tuition, the loans will be there to cover me up.
Despite the fact that I won't be starting school until the spring, I do realize that I still have to be able to pay some amount of money to the college by the end of the fall. This means that I will be needing to raise as much I can for the next seven months. While it still seems so far away, I am hoping to raise the money in less than five months, only because I want to make sure that in case something happens after those five months, the money raised will not be used to take care of last minute emergencies but rather be put in a safe place until the Spring. As of now, UNT has awarded me loans and grants, but sadly, these grants, even including the loans, do not cover my whole tuition for the whole year. I am left with a gap of almost $10,000 and that is just for the first year. I am hoping that it can get better before I actually start, but only time will tell.
Although my story may sound like the ordinary teen mom, I know that my story can out stand others, because not only will I dedicate myself to make this opportunity worth it, but I will also make sure that my child sees that I did not fail the people who helped me get to my dream college and my goal in becoming an Interior Designer. I disappointed my parents, my siblings and my friends, and I don't want to keep disappointing anybody else. My parents had big dreams for me because I am the first to attend college. Yes, I messed up along the way but I believe I can still complete their wishes. I want them to be proud and I want to show them that they can trust me and believe in me like they once did before. I want them to have a relationship with my unborn child, my boyfriend and his family, but only this opportunity will be able to give me all of that back. I want to give my child the life that he deserves. I want to look back five years from now and show my parents and everyone else that is currently doubting me, that I made it and that anything is possible if you work hard for it. With the help from you and with the help from friends and family who still support me, I know that I will make this fund raiser worth it.
I am not writing this so that you or anyone reading this can feel bad for me, but rather so that you can understand where I am coming from and why I need as much help as I can get. From setting my first doctor's appointment alone to changing my bad habits in order to stay healthy took a lot of courage for me to do. I have stepped out of my comfort zone to share to others what I am going through because I know and recognize that I cannot do this alone. Raising this money will not only be my life saver, but it will encourage me and give me even more strength to continue what I had originally planned to do. Not only will be thankful for giving me this opportunity to continue on with my goal, but I will be blessed to have people like you who actually take time to read stories like mine and who feel a sense of compassion for people like me. Not only will your generosity empower me, but it's the mere fact that you believe in me and the fact that unknown as I am to you, you still felt generous enough to give me a second chance at life. You will certainly impact my life with your donation. No matter how much you can contribute, the fact you contributed will mean everything. Apart from me and my boyfriend being thankful, I am sure that my child will be extremely appreciative, because I am doing this for him. My child, and any child in the world, deserves to live a happy and stable life. Thank you for taking the time to knowing a bit about me, and I hope that you can contribute, anything you can contribute, to keep me a bit closer to my dreams.
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