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+--- Thread: Help me begin life afresh from a nasty separation|Regaining my life from domestic vio (/showthread.php?tid=39507)
Help me begin life afresh from a nasty separation|Regaining my life from domestic vio - Caroleroberts - 07-20-2023
Hello?
Thank you very much for taking your precious time to read my story.I can't thank you enough for your support.God bless you immensely??
I got married in April 2021 to a guy whom we had met in June 2020 while working at my cyber cafe.He was a divorcee two times and I was to be the third wife.Mind you we had an age gap of 26 years?.I was this time doing part time classes doing my masters in finance which I paid for myself.
The previous wife had washed him everything in the house and as he claimed she was superstitious?so we started life afresh in a new house and new everything.
The guy was a retired navy officer so he had power.So moving in things were still good and we got new workers and guards at the gate-a day and night guard.
In this house we were living just 3 of us,me,him and his last born son who was 23 years then.
Barely 3 months upon moving in together things started changing.He complained about my cyber job and so I had to close it.Apparently I was talking to men?slowly by slowly I quit school too because he complained he didn't marry a student but a wife.
I was in love and I didn't realize he was slowly by slowly gaining control over me.Going to salon also became a problem and I could call my salonist to come do my hair from our house.He denied me going to church too.Before I realized it,I was like a captive and the guards couldn't allow me go anywhere without their "boss's" consent.
Time flew and in 6 month time things got more challenging. He started name calling,turning workers against me by telling them I shouldn't tell them anything coz he was the one who was paying them?,he began coming home late and eventually not coming at all.
Still so naive and not knowing more about living with a man all what I did was crying...not even sharing with anyone not even family.
I managed to check his phone and to my shock he was declaring himself single online flirting and getting cossy with women of all kinds.On this particular time he had arrived from a different town,his phone started ringing while he was taking a shower and I picked it...it was a lady's voice calling him dear.I asked the lady why she was calling those ungodly hours only to be insulted...when my husband came back from the shower,I questioned him and that was a day I live to regret.He held me by my braids,slapped my face,poured water which was in a glass on my head and tried hitting my head against the wall,still in disbelief coz it was his first time to go physical, he reached to a mop stick trying to hit my head but I saved myself with my hand.
The same glass fell during that commotion and broke? a piece making it's way into my feet.I didn't realize I was hurt until I felt wetness on my dress?my dress's lower part was soaked in blood.He wiped the blood and went out.
I couldn't go out of our bedroom fearing what workers could say...I had to stay there...my leg started swelling and by the time he came back around 11pm since morning I couldn't walk.That's when he took me to the hospital.
On a different occassion I found his chats with the sister to the first wife...they were intimate....and calling each other sweet names,he texted her "you were my permanent wives,the rest are passersby whom I chase when they are nolonger sweet to me???" that hit me so hard.
I innocently asked him to make it clear if we had anything between us or I could just leave.... anytime I caught him cheating he could punish me so hard???he told me that was his inlaw and I couldn't do anything about it.He went ahead and became violent telling me he didn't marry me a virgin I had no reason to question his infidelity??he went ahead and broke my phone.This time he went and reported to the nearest police station that I was wild and was breaking things in the house...The police came for me and dragged me out of our bedroom harassing me while him,the son and workers were onlooking.
That very evening he held a party and called the same police and was forced to serve them drinks and food.
Fast forward we travelled to a different city,me him and the son?..on that fateful day we woke up just like normal and I had told him I wanted to go make my hair.
He took me to the salon and went on with his meetings.He told me to call him when done so that he could pay the bill. I did so and went to meet him at a certain pub..then we took a cab to the apartment we were living.
It was around 8pm and I was preparing to cook.Unfortunately we had no groceries so we were to go buy outside the gate.?Coming from the bedroom I found him on a call and I could hear a lady's voice...I signaled him to drop the call so that we could go outside together to get groceries but he ignored me...I went out to the reception to send the receptionist which he agreed.
He brought spaghetti which I cooked with stew?..while he was still on phone..I served the food and that's when he dropped the call asking me whom I was talking to ??"who is that man you were talking to at the door?" By the time I answered he slapped my face.Grabbed my dress and tore it from head to tore...as I was running to the bedroom he grabbed me and started struggling me...I almost lost my breath...he pulled my newly made braids which were so painful...I still managed to reach to the bedroom to get my phone...I dialled my sister's number and told her "he is killing me" before he seized my phone.
He called his son and have him my phone.
Very early in the morning the following day I woke up to someone who was fully dressed ready to leave and what I could hear is him telling the hotel management that he was leaving and that there was someone still sleeping there so "she should pay if she wants to stay????"
There was a lady called Mary who came to where I was to check on who was left only to find me in my torn dress and swollen face...I told her what had happened..she begged him to atleast give me fare if they were leaving me behind but he refused...
Him together with his son drove off...45 mins later they came with police...he had reported that I stole money from him a sum of 600k which we had left home in our safe..I explained to the police and refused to go anywhere without the presence of my parents.
They left...all this time I had not checked my handbag ?I had about ,4k which I realized he had taken and it dawned to me I was coinless in people's hotel,no phone no nothing.
Fast forward I managed to escape last year November with nothing not even even clothes,I am squatting at my sister's place since then.
I am looking forward to get funds to get my own place, finish my school, set up a business and begin my counseling therapy.I am traumatized.
Thanks in advance for your support.God bless you?
PayPal: rcarole680@gmail.com