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My wife is my best Friend - Printable Version

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My wife is my best Friend - Christopher1980 - 08-09-2022

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Hello I appreciate everyone who reads my post. I have been trying to find help for the problems I am having all over the internet but I do realize that there are a lot of people in need of help and not a lot of people that have the means to help. 

I want to make this post simple and not waste anyone’s time.
The first thing I want to point out is my wife and I have been together for 14 years and we spend most of our time together-she’s my world and I am asking for help for her and not for me. 

I’ve never really lied to her as I had no reason to, we like a lot of the same things and we get along and we have hard times but we go through them together. Having said that I’ve been lying to her for 2 months now for the first time and it crushes my soul. It sounds silly and I am no saint but I feel like part of me is missing because I so badly want to tell her and apologize and lean on her and get through it the way we always have, together.

About 2 months ago I was swindled out of our savings because I wasn’t careful online and long story short I had the entirety of my cryptocurrency wallet emptied. It was my fault as the scammer was able to fool me into giving them personal information that gave them access to my wallet. My wife had no idea that I put the money into crypto as I was hoping to surprise her and I’ve never done anything like that without asking and I think I underestimated the risk. We both work but it’s hard we didn’t have a lot in savings but to us it was everything. $5,500 and that was after losing some of it to the decline in crypto. I was late to the party. 

Since then I have hid it from her and when she asks about the money I say it’s fine. Whenever I forget about it and feel happy I am instantly reminded what I did and what I am doing to her when all she does is love me and trust me. I picked up a little side work but it’s not much. I have tried everything but my credit is no good so there is no loan or card that will help-and I would have to keep that from her too. Things keep popping up that we need to pay for and I’m running up cards or lying about money or saying we should wait. I have thought about doing illegal things but I have realized that’s not possible. I have come to the conclusion that i cannot live with myself and I have come close to suicide a few times. I have done everything I can think of and I’m still over $3000 away. 

Anything anyone can do to help may not just save my life but will be helping my wife. If I have the money I keep envisioning being able to tell her what I did and apologize and get her back in my life. But without the money I’m afraid that I will change our life and relationship foreverSad 

Thank you in advance for your thoughts, prayers, and donations!