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+--- Thread: In need of a clear slate to start over again; after divorce & medical issues (/showthread.php?tid=38300)
In need of a clear slate to start over again; after divorce & medical issues - zephyrgirl78 - 06-19-2022
My ex-husband of 12 years moved out October 01, 2020 - we were living in a nice apartment paying $1600 a month - which was okay when he lived there because he was making over $65K a year. I thought I would be okay but then in November of 2020 I drove to Delaware on a vacation by myself - my heart was broken and all I could think was I needed to see the Ocean. Why Delaware - I don't know. I drove to Delaware by myself from Minnesota which one way without stopping is 24 hours approximately. Being a single female - I was very nervous to stop and sleep anywhere and so I drove and drove and drove - rarely stopping. My right calf had started feeling weird during the drive and I did not think much of it.
When I arrived I went straight to the ocean and cried - sad tears, happy tears, relief tears. But my leg still felt weird. I stayed in a hotel that night and the next night I stayed in the AirB&B that I had booked for 4 days. About 2 days after arriving I decided to message my friends that are nurses to see what they thought about my leg. All of them told me to go to the ER. I went to get a massage instead - I told the massage person about my leg and she said she wouldn't massage it and highly recommended an ER visit. Anyway after leaving I decided I should probably go to the ER. I went and was told I had a blood clot that had travelled to both lungs (bilateral pulmonary embolism). I was admitted to the hospital on my vacation. During that time I was hooked up to heart machines, IVs etc and was put on a blood thinner. After 3 or 4 days I was discharged. I stayed another day and needed to start travelling back home to Minnesota.
After being back home - and being on the blood thinner - I started to hemorrhage during my period. I thought I was going to die. I had lost so much blood. I had been in the hospital prior to my travels and it was discovered that I had very large fibroids in and around my uterus which was causing me to bleed more than usual and then adding a blood thinner onto that - all hell broke loose. I went to the ER - my hemoglobin was 8. (should be over 12). Around 7 they would have to do a blood transfusion; I did not need one because my period finally stopped. But it happened again in December 2020. And during this time from December 2022 to March 2021 - I had bacterial infections, UTI, I broke out into hives at one point.
Finally in March 2021- I had a hysterectomy to help with the bleeding. Two days after my surgery I was not feeling well and was admitted back into the hospital and they discovered the sutures had closed up my urethra causing all the urine to back up into my kidneys. I had an emergency surgery and was in the hospital for a week.
I was unable to work this entire time and with how much blood I had lost, and the major surgeries I had I was able to barely walk or move. My family did not help me during this time - as per usual - they told me what I went through wasn't a big deal or that I should move since I could not afford to live there yet they didn't want to come help me move. (I couldn't walk remember?) During my time in the hospital the apartment building I lived at started emailing me asking if I would be continuing to live there after June 1st 2021. I told them I was in the hospital and they replied - we need to know by the end of March. Having been through everything I went through and then laying there in the hospital on pain medication - I was in a very vulnerable state and did not want to become homeless - So I signed another lease. After getting out of the hospital about 2 weeks later - I was realizing that was a mistake. I asked to back out of it - it was only April at this time - which means my lease wasnt even up yet and they told me no. I told my apartment many times I cant afford to live here anymore and asked to speak with an uppermanagment person - not an office leasing person - and they would not give me that information for whatever reason.
I continued living there and using credit cards to pay until I could no longer use them. I could not physically move and was unable to have the energy to leave. November of 2021 - I finally was moving around more - I had started working again - but it was difficult. I did not have a lot of energy to move around.
Since November of 2020 - to the present: I went through all that I mentioned above - plus more. I moved out of state for awhile to a place I did not know anyone and tried to start over again. I found it to be very difficult and was living in my car, then a hotel for a bit with my cat Bella. I finally was able to find a place to live but the living situation was not going well and the next place I moved the same thing. I had more medical issues that happened, I lived in my car for a week and in that time my cat became ill and no vet would help me with no money. She died. I was able to find a place to temporarily stay but I finally packed up my car and headed back to Minnesota to be near my kids, grandkids and best friend. I am doing the absolute best that I can. I tire easily still and have a hard time working fulltime hours. When I work over 25 hours my entire body becomes inflamed from head to toe.
I am asking for someone to please just help me to get over this hump. To be on level ground again so that I can start over, start fresh. With everything I went through and being unable to work or pay bills my credit score went from over 700 to under 600. My hope is for someone to help me pay for 6 or 12 months of rent; money for bankruptcy, money to pay off my 2007 Honda, and a little bit of food and gas money. My estimation would be $26,000 (if someone helped with 6 months of rent) up to $34,000 if someone helped me with a year of rent.
I have been unable to rent anywhere due to my credit history. I am living in a run down townhouse with two roommates at this time. I am a 43 year old woman and I need my own space, my own life. I am feeling so stuck, so trapped by this existence. I appreciate all who took the time to read this and hope there is someone out there to help me. Thank You, KD.