I'm so tired of living in rock bottoms basement.... - Printable Version +- FreeBeg (https://www.freebeg.com/forum) +-- Forum: Requests for donations (https://www.freebeg.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: My Request for Help (https://www.freebeg.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +--- Thread: I'm so tired of living in rock bottoms basement.... (/showthread.php?tid=37333)

I'm so tired of living in rock bottoms basement.... - Taylor-Made - 10-05-2021 I've written this out three times, only to delete it because I couldn't get past my pride. I know there's plenty of people struggling to make ends meet and I felt like maybe my struggles weren't worthy of helping. I have been trying so hard to hold my chin up but life keeps blindsiding me with no sign of letting up. It's hard for me ask for help but here I am, begging for some financial help. I'll share just a few of the biggest issues we've been dealing with just in the last two years. It feels like everything started two years ago when I unexpectedly found my dad in his recliner, already cold and gone. That in itself genuinely crushed me in a way that I could never have prepared for. I can still feel the weight of his limp body as I hugged him one last time, the emptiness in his eyes is still burned into my memory and I still can't hold back my tears, even as I write this now. My oldest daughter says part of me died with him that day. It kills me to say it but I know she isn't wrong.  Less than five months later I brought a beautiful, healthy baby girl into the world, but I nearly died in the process. Spoiler alert: I pulled through. It's been a slow process but I'm getting back to my normal self. Fast forward three short months to the beginning of the pandemic. I'm here to tell you that isolation is the absolute worst thing for dealing with grief. To have nothing but time made it hard not to dwell on the moment that crippled my soul. My heart goes out to anyone who has been unfortunate enough to be the one to find a deceased love one. It's genuinely the most devastating thing I've ever experienced. Then, as luck would have it, my guy was heading to work on the morning of my oldest's birthday in September when a front tire blew as he was taking a tight, winding curve, causing him to wreck deep into the woods beyond the road. Our car was beyond totalled. He even ended up bending the steering wheel with his head. I don't know how he managed to do it, but he walked nearly five miles back home despite his injuries. We had opted to get gifts for my daughter instead of getting a time for his phone. If it says anything about him, my fiance was more concerned that he had "ruined" my daughters' birthday than everything else. We were just happy he was alive. So now here we all are. Incredibly limited and losing hope more and more. I'm still stuck at home recovering from my own brush with death, taking care of my girls and trying to keep myself from completely falling into an abysmal depression, which puts all of the weight of supporting a family of four solely on my fiance's shoulders. He breaks his back for us without complaint every day, struggling to make ends meet and I'm in a position where I can't work to help provide with nobody left to turn to. I was a professional tattooist before all this began. I'm an artist by nature and miss being able to tell folks that I actually love my job. Since then, my license has lapsed and we don't have the income to reinstate it. Even if we did, tattooing isn't really practical in the time of social distancing. I've turned to freelancing online but it's hard to get work without a digital portfolio. I'm working on building it up but that doesn't do much for our income situation, which is bad enough that we're genuinely concerned with losing our home. That is what brings me to my knees here and now before you all, begging for some help. I can't let my pride get in the way any more. My family is in genuine need of help. To be completely honest, I need some help. I know that I can't climb out of rock bottoms' basement on my own. I'm trying to make real efforts toward helping my family but it's a slow going process. Any financial help we can get will be so helpful to get this ball rolling a whole lot smoother. If this has compelled you to help me and my family then I thank you beyond words. We all do. I'll attach a Paypal link below for anyone who would like to help. If anything, thank you for taking the time to read this. It was somewhat therapeutic to let this all out. I've been holding it in for too long.  Paypal.me/tdmcd23 Any help received will be put to use with rent and hopefully a vehicle. The kindness will absolutely be paid forward. Thank you so much.