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+--- Thread: JUST NEED A CHANCE - SINGLE MUM (/showthread.php?tid=33399)
JUST NEED A CHANCE - SINGLE MUM - l.hulance - 10-23-2018
Hi!
I've not done this before so please bare with me. I am a single divorced mum to the most amazing 3 children in the world and recently I feel I am failing them due to financial issues.
So around 3 years ago I made the drastic decision to end my unhappy marriage of 10 years. Neither of us were happy and it needed to stop. For a while I managed OK. Got myself a part time job, enrolled in college and started pursuing my dream career. I got the children counselling and gave them my all. Apart from their dad not really seeing them and giving me no financial support we were doing alright....but what I saw as alright was me using credit cards to plug the gaps, grocery shops etc. couple that with the fact that my ex husband left me with all the marriage debts to pay (he got a new bank account and I was primary name). I started to realise things needed to change.
I consolidated all my credit cards (2 from the marriage and 1 after) into a loan so I only have one payment for those and the other marriage debt was a loan I took out because my husband wanted to by a new car 2 years before the split. In total the 2 loan repayments equal more than my part time earnings but the way I saw it was at least I'm earning and trying my best, showing my children the right way.
Nearly a year ago things started to get worse as I just couldn't make ends meet. Living cost rise and nothing else was rising with them, I considered many different options and found a few solutions to ease the burden, after begging my boss, my working hours increased, but now I had childcare costs, meaning after those costs I was only earning £50 more a week, but still it was more. I also had a frank dicussion with my ex husband and his new fiance. They now see the children once a fortnight and pay a small amount of child maintenance (less that the CSA recommended amount and wont go higher) and also he now pays half of the marriage loan repayment each month. I also got rid of all unnecessary bills (TV, phone line etc)
Through all of this I have been suffering with severe depression, which I hate. I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy. I see my doctor regularly and have therapy once a week. I want to get better, I want to be a stronger and better mum for my children, they deserve it.
Then suddenly a month ago my world came crashing down. I started having panic attacks at work (stressful job mixed with depression), to the point I had to take time off to recover. The day I was signed off sick my boss took me to one side and told me they were stopping my additional hours, my contract with the additional hours included had never appeared and I didn't think to chase it. I begged HR to help me, my doctor wrote them a note to get occupational health involved, they ignored it all. I tried to return to work after a brief email exchange between my boss, HR and I and the first Monday of October walked in to no colleagues talking to me, my boss AWOL and HR's door firmly closed. I broke. I literally broke that day. I tried to get on with work and after 2 hours my boss suddenly showed up, ordered me to a meeting with HR and they quickly escorted me off the premises saying I wasn't fit to work anymore, had to go home and needed a doctor to sign me "fit for work"!
After talking to my doctor 2 days later when I felt brave enough to leave the house and had carefully considered all my options (what benefits I could get while getting better and searching for a new job, if I could afford to live etc), I decided that I could no longer work in that environment and needed to quit my job for the sake of my mental health. I had to give 4 weeks notice and my doctor agreed to sign me sick for those 4 weeks. I emailed HR my notice....work sent me an email response saying that actually they could terminate my contract with immediate effect....
My carefully thought through plane started to crumble.
- No 4 weeks of Statutory Sick Pay to see me through.
- That afternoon I got a letter through the post from the council, due to a couple of mix ups on both sides I'd been over paid by nearly £1000!!! They want it back by 30th October.
- Income support is still being processed
- No housing or council tax benefit due to the outstanding amount I owe them
- Tax credits didn't do my 4 week run on as I'd notified them of the reduction to my hours the week before I lost my job
https://paypal.me/lfuller22