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+--- Thread: I need you to help me care about me again, PLEASE!!! (/showthread.php?tid=30589)
I need you to help me care about me again, PLEASE!!! - KGolightly - 09-21-2017
First of all I’m just going to be brutally honest here with what I want to say. I just want; well I guess you could call it inspiration or HOPE for my future. I’m extremely depressed, to point where I want to honest just kill myself. But only things that keep me from doing that is me not wanting to in the sense go to a second version HELL in my afterlife. And me also, just keeping faith that things will change (which they rarely do). I pretty sure that I have mental disorders, but have yet to prove them. I’m stuck in this financial whirlwind hell that never seems to end. It’s always something going wrong, where I can barely keep up with it. I had so many aspirations of being an entrepreneur, doing things like: graphic designer, photographer, author, and even inventor. But I just hate life now; I don’t want to keep going anymore. None of what I want to do with my life seems to be worth it anymore. It all just feels pointless, especially now with me secretly staying with my mom. And us not having any LIGHTS and us both having asthma. I’m not supposed to be here with her while she’s on section 8. But I got nowhere else to go (but to the grave). I’m at my wits end, I want to have a bright future and do all those things that I feel like I’m destined to do. We can’t even work like normal people (disabled with no disability checks). I’m desperate to at this point save my life, because I’m just so done. CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! We’re completely BROKE and have exhausted all the agencies that could help us.
I need you to help me care about me again. Even after getting cut off stamps, I just can’t make myself care enough. I feel like “Fine, I’ll just starve”. “They don’t care…, why should I”. Apparently I’m able-bodied to them. But I don’t think I can be around people. It’s bad enough, I feel delirious at times too. To where I feel like my vision gets wonky. Also not to mention, I can’t even get enough energy unless I have a Mountain Dew. And forgetting stuff all the time is just awesome (sarcastically speaking). This post is to express how I truly feel, so I can get the best diagnoses for my mental health. Everybody always says I live in this fantasy world in my mind. But I can’t help, but to truly live this in a fantasy world. If you continue to read the rest of my post, are of me trying to get people to help me, you would clearly see how desperate I am to get things going. And how completely hopeless I’ve gotten. I’m so desperate that I was at one point even considering selling my virginity. Now I know that’s too much information, but I did get also so depressed that I was suicidal.
I was hoping I could find an investor. A real deceit person, that wouldn’t (steal) my UN-patented invention ideas. I really need help with this idea issue. I’m hard on my luck; I haven’t been able to do anything to get them started. So that means that I can’t pay for any expenses for them. I can’t seem to find a job or even get money from family to help me start them. I can’t even afford to go back to school. I was even hoping to maybe get help me get my children’s book published too. I have several disabilities that have yet to be diagnosed. I feel like I can’t work like normal; I feel like I won’t be able to live a proper life. Here’s a summary of the phobias/disorders: Asthenophobia, Illyngophobia, Kopophobia, Stasiphobia, Basiphobia, Panophobia, Scotomaphobia, Scelerophibi, Katagelophobia, Enochlophobia, Agoraphobia, Ergophobia, Glossophobia, Social Phobia, Counterphobia, Anthropophobia, Topophobia, Telephone phobia, Workplace phobia, Erotophobia, Psychophobia, Xenophobia.
Personality Disorders: Class A & Class C Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder) Bipolar Disorder
I still want to go back to school and eventually get a good job, so I can try to save my money for a great future. That’s why I were still living with my mom, I wanted help her with bills and other problems. While at the same time make a better future for me to get by saving up for apartments, cars, and any other expenses that require me to be on my own. So I won’t have to struggle by myself, the plan was to be working and in school for my desired career choices (Graphic Design, Photography, Author, and Inventor) until I graduated then move out. I figured it would be too hard to do all of that by myself (it would too expensive to have two different rent, gas, and lights bills). Not mention any other leisure bill expenses like having internet or cable. So my sister and I were trying to deal with our mother’s drinking problems until then, then we could get out or until she got help. I had so many dreams for my future, but now I’m discouraged and feel like I will never see them happen. I wanted to be and Graphic Designer, Author, Photographer, and Inventor (basically Entrepreneur). But now I feel that my future is completely ruined. I just want my life to go back to a some-what normal routine, but with a new adopted attitudes and mental state. I’m not sure of a not sure of pacific amount right now. But I know it needs to be more than just $100, for me to get things going (starting with idea patents). Thank you for hearing me out. paypal.me/lngolightly