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Struggling with BPD
Hello, my name is Devon, and I am 21 years old. I am a student learning to be a composer. I play drums as in a rock band. I am a philosopher. Also, I haven't ever held a job due to my Borderline Personality Disorder. 

Borderline Personality Disorder causes one to be very impulsive, to have swift mood swings, and to engage in risky behaviors. The last real job that I had I walked out of on break about a month in. Why did I do this? Because I was the most anxious I had ever been in my life, no joke. It sounds absolutely hilarious that the thing that made me the most anxious was working a line at a meijer, because I've played (once) in front of a crowd of a thousand people like it was nothing. 

I have failed classes in college due to deciding on the way to the school that I wasn't going to show up (again, impulsiveness). I frequently do not show up to things that I am required to. My therapist threatened that if I was to miss one more time, I was to be discharged. Everything points to me being unable to do entry level work. 

I am bisexual. I came out to my mom three years ago and her reaction was that she "ought to have taken me to church more often". This was definitely the most heartbreaking moment of my life. I was fairly determined to kill myself that day, such that a police officer ended up showing up. After that day, I was much more depressed and suicidal. This was three years ago, and things have gotten much better with my mom and I. 

Now, I am not hopeless. I struggle every day to do the simplest things, but I still know I can do good things. I will be a great composer. I will be a good activist, and philosopher. However, I'm not sure I will be able to support myself until I am good enough at those things to support myself. What I ask is for help until I get there. In return, I will keep you updated. If you donate a substantial amount, I will dedicate a piece to you. I want you to know that helping me will not be in vain. 

I will succeed, but until I can, I ask for your help. 
It would mean the world to me. 

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