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Heart My whole world is gone, please help me keep going
Posted by: HelpRickFindHappiness - 07-26-2018, 10:18 AM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

[Image: B4540936-6FE3-4B1B-8E49-1C32BAFBB2E4.jpeg]
Where to begin? I am the youngest of 2 kids that my Mom and Dad have, my sister is 5 years older and she’s is now 42. I have always been different, little did I know it was mainly because I was born in New Bern, NC. I am gay! Of all the things you did not want to be growing up here, this is the it! I am 38, never had a boyfriend, never experience love other than my one true love, my Mother. Her and I were inseparable, if you saw me you saw her. August 15th, 2017 I get a call from my father, Mom was found in the bathroom been there for 3 hours couldn’t get up. I had noticed several personality changes in her in the last 7 months but my family does not listen to me and the ignore my every attempt that something is wrong with my Mom. Back to the fall, it is almost a month before my Moms 61st Birthday. She has always been full of energy, besides having polio when she was little she is the picture of health, never smoke, never drank, cleans houses for a living, mostly doctors and she loves it so much. Little could we imagine that her dr. Would be a man that she has cleaned for for years and the head  of oncology here in New Bern. My mom had a stroke for sure, I beg them to do an MRI of her head or at least a CT and to please do blood work, as they were gonna just bandage her up and send her home. I tell them of her personality changes over the past few months, but dad makes it seem as though I am just dramatic. My mom never has been one to go to dr’s for one she is healthy, and 2 she also is terrified her whole  life she is gonna have something major and die. CT comes back that there are several infractions or possible lesions on the brain and something else on her skull bones but hard to tell. The admit us. I fight and beg and plead with God, doctors, the IV pole over next 2 weeks, out of 206 bones I think maybe 10 did not have cancer, primary lung cancer, never smoked a day in her life, another primary, Colon,another primary, kidney. She has watermelon size tumors down her spine, they are wrapped in her skull and now thanks to a lovely test called a TEE the source of her strokes, not only is she in a-fib, she has a rare disorder called Libman Sachs, instead of being caused by a long standing infection and vegetation, the advanced cancer everywhere has caused her heart valve to grow tumors and they will not close, the are regurgitating blood and fire off stroke after stroke within 2 weeks my mother is brain dead and seizing so much she is bitting off her tongue as they give her more morphine than I thought was humanly possible for comfort care as we go through 14 hours awaiting her last breath.
Back to me growing up, I never was accepted by the men in the family as I did not hunt, fish ect. I  played the piano and I don’t brag a lot cause I have no self confidence but I was the damn bomb. I had a god given talent to play. I spent all 38 years of my life attached to my mothers hip. I had always told my sister and few friends I had that I could live without anything, anything but my mother. She was my mom but she was also my whole world, my protector, my best friend. I still lived with her and my dad and thank God cause due to her decline I had taken care of her and my 91 year  old grandfather, my dad’s father, which strangely enough died 5 dies before my mom.  My mom was 61, she died august 29th, 2017 just 2 weeks after falling and entering the hospital, she died exactly 1 month from the day she was born, sept 29th. My parents 44th anniversary would’ve been 2 days after her death.
I have worked in medical field doing prosthetics for over 13 years. I have no job now, I have no joy,  I have nothing. I am living with my father, but he is ready to date and this is house is all  I have, I can show you  pictures of the wreaths and decorations and tchristmas trees I do and have done over the years, this house means everything to me, I know my dad is going to make me leave or either he will move and selll it. Although I am not suicidal as of yet, I definitely understand it as an option. God. Could have had anything he wanted even me, all my money, made me blind, the only thing I could not live without, my mother, was the 1 thing that was taken from me and now I don’t even have the desire to get up in the mornings, but I do and work my ass off around here, taking care of this yard, my moms birds and 19 hummingbird feeders. She always wanted me to be happy, to find love, to have what everyone else has. My dad hates who I am and will never ever accept it much less never let me have a BFF or anything more. I wish I knew what it was liked to be loved like that. I knew of a love so deep and pure and never shaking, it could never be broken, well only by death. My mom was my best friend and my world. I love to shop and to decorate and to clean house and most of all I love to care for others as I do for my whole family as I have done my whole life. Now I am without a job, no  money, without my mother, my health is bad as I was diagnosed with babesiosis from a tick bite and I have no prospects or desires to leave the house right now. I know it’s wrong to ask but I just want to provide for me and my dog and keep up this house and the fish pond and the birds and myself, but I can no longer do that. I need help, My mom always said if anyone in the family wins the lottery I hope its not you (talking about me) cause I would give it all away to everyone to help them all out, just as I have done my whole. Life. I want to be happy if there is such a thing anymore, I would love to find true love or at least someone who can pretend to show me what its like to have someone love you and care about you. I am so alone, so lonely that my soul aches literally. I can not bare the pain of my mother anymore and to make it worse I feel worthless, I have no money, and I am battling this tick bite disease which is very rough. I would love to be able to open up my own place one day, make my wreaths and do decorating, have a bakery like mom and I always wanted.  But for now I just want to be able to buy my self some soap and deodorant, to buy for my dog, which my mom got me 3 moths before her death after my 14 year old doggie died.
I still hold out some hope, but my heart which was never whole to begin with, is now non-exstitent, so sad because I have so much to  give someone. I pray that if no one can help me that I will soon go the same way and maybe be with my Mom again.
If you can find it in your heart,please help  me out.I deserve happiness, i deserve to to be treated like I am a human being,  like its not the most disgusting thing in the world to be who I am. I deserve love and happiness but I know that those things are just fantasies, they are attainable, but never for me. I wish that someone could see what I really am, the most kind ,caring loving person who would do anything and has done that only to be hurt, stepped on and abused.
I can only hope that until I can be with my mother again that someone will have the heart and the funds to help me out. I can provide all the proof, through pictures, documents, whatever
 
I hate to sound so  lame, but I am literally at my end, I really need this help. I just want what everyone else takes for granted, to be able to buy the things I need and maybe a couple that I want and to also find the love and happiness that others take for granted. If you can find it in our heart to help me out at all, here is my paypal me  page to make those donations.
 
I am also willing to give you more info if you can really help me out. My email is ricki2u2003@gmail.com

here is my paypal me page for donations

paypal.me/helpRickFindHappines

Also, please note that I have worked my whole life and it devastated to leave my job of 13 years but I really cant even make it through the days anymore I am not lazy I am just completely broken. Just as my mother did, I have spent my whole life doing for everyone else, I can only hope that karma is in fact real and it is headed back my way or I feat for what lies Ahead for me.
Thank you again for anything you can do, I would love to never worry about money again and I know this is unrealistic but at least I hope that people will shoe me the love and compassion have shown others my whole life. If you can do nothing else, please pray for me to find someone, to find peace, to find love and to ultimately find happiness.
My goal is to ultimately be able to take care of myself, make my mother proud and open up a craft store/bakery or even open up a bed and breakfast (this is more a fantasy but I would love that) and also to have lots of money so that I could help out lots of others I sweat on my moms life I would love to also find someone and be happy and know what really love is.  I wil do whatever but hoping to get around 500,000.00
Her is my paypal donation page again
paypal.me/helpRickFindHappines
Sincerley
Rick Smith




 



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  Anything helps.
Posted by: Aliveatleast - 07-26-2018, 09:38 AM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

Hello! Thank you for reading.
I’m 20. I’m living with the man who just broke up with me after finding out I’m pregnant. I just started a new job, and I’m Starting CNA classes on the 6th. He’s giving me a month to leave. I’m trying to come up with enough money for a cheap car to get to and from work and classes. And it will probably be my home next month. I feel desperate, lonely, and scared. Please, anything helps.

https://www.paypal.me/thankyoulol

https://cash.me/$thankstoyouu

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  June 1st my love died
Posted by: Rinnah123 - 07-26-2018, 09:05 AM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

On June 1st a spouses greatest fear became a reality for me. My wife who had just turned the age of 45 came home from visiting her sister. She said baby I'm not feeling well I'm going to go lie down for a bit. I said okay I'm going to fix something to eat. So I prepared the chicken and placed in the oven. At that point I took off to the store to get her a Dr Pepper soft drink. When I came home I waited until the food was done so I could surprise her with her favorite meal. I prepared the plates and took hers into the bedroom. I said baby dinner is ready, but there was no answer. I walked over to the bed and shook her slightly to wake her up, but she didn't move. In fact she was stiff already. I called 911 and they gave me a few instructions but nothing worked. EMS arrived and pronounced her as dead. The ME determined that the cause of death was due to a mixture of her medicine and alcohol created a lethal toxin in her blood stream that stopped her heart. I was not able to go to work for about a month. My rent and utilities are overwhelming. Now my hours have been cut back, and the landlord is threatening to evict me. I'm two months behind and I have no where to turn. Please help.(Paypal.me/twentyV)

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  Days away from lossing it all
Posted by: Tavarest - 07-26-2018, 01:57 AM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Hello,[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I am a 28 year old graduate student and mother of two who works fulltime while my children’s father is at home with them to cut cost of daycare as he finishes his bachelors degree. Being the sole provider of our family and having no family or friends to reach out to has been truly difficult and has lead me to where we are now. [/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Myself and my family are in desperate need of funds to pay into the following:[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Car $658[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Insurance $414[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Utilities $311[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]My next check will be paying our rent but we will have nothing left after that. Our car is only a few days from being repossessed and with no means of transportation we will surely be worse off than we are now. [/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]I am currently selling off anything that we can get rid off just to make some gas money.[/font][/font]
[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]If you can help even pennies will alleviate the stress and anxiety I am facing. [/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]Thank you and we truly appreciate the time you have taken to hear our pain.[/font][/font]

[font=.SF UI Text][font=.SFUIText]paypal.me/tavatan[/font][/font]

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  Lost Job and Broke
Posted by: bbriggs - 07-25-2018, 06:56 PM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

I just lost my job due to downsizing. I was already living paycheck to paycheck, but now I have bills due, one of which is my car. Now, this is 10 year old car I bought used , so it's not like my payment is high, but with nothing coming in and needing to get to job interviews, I need help fast. If I lose my car, I won't be able to get a job as I live too far out for public transportation. Any amount will help me.

paypal.me/unemployed

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  Needing help this once please
Posted by: Heythere - 07-25-2018, 02:09 AM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

Hello, 
I am looking for help, just this once, and heard about this site. Really hoping I could recieve it. 
A couple of weeks ago, I was at a gas station, well long story short, some one stole my wallet with all my money in it. I take care of my 3 nieces due to their mother being in jail. And I have no help from other family members. (They want no part in her, my sisters, life.) Now, my rent is coming up and I need to make it in order not to get kicked out with no where to go with 3 little girls. My landlord is very strict on rent. And it's pay by month and he would have every right to kick me out if I don't pay on time. 
I'm needing 500$. 
I work very hard. I do have a job. But, with it coming up so quickly, I won't have the money in time. 

I really do thank anyone, out there, who can help me. And I know it's a long shot but I thought I would try it. 

My cash app is cash.me/$sarahlee313

Again, thank you for who helps. I promise it's just this once.

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  Need 200$
Posted by: Nickzzzzz - 07-24-2018, 11:44 PM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

Hi, I need 200$

paypal.me/OrganizationIT

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Sad My Son has lung cancer
Posted by: Ghaydaal - 07-24-2018, 09:08 PM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

Hello, 

My name is Ghayda. My son Jimmy  was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. He’s in the hospital right now and he has a surgery on the 30th. Our Aetna insurance won’t cover much, and I kindly ask you to help us save his life. Any amount is appreciated. Please, I’m doing this for my only child, and I can'tdo it alone. I need your help. God bless everyone.



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  Love doesn't pay the bills but maybe you can ?
Posted by: easybreezybree - 07-24-2018, 03:07 AM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

It never fails that I end up in the same situation where I’m trying to figure out how my bills are going to get paid let alone where my next meal is coming from and while I have a part time job I truly enjoy and love. Love doesn’t pay the bills Ive done everything (or so I thought) to try and make ends meet. This amount is the last needed so I can take a step further to financial freedom all proceeds will go towards debt and bills that are behind causing me more harm then good no one wants to work to just die so I’m asking if you have it in your heart to help me out id greatly appreciate it.


PayPal.me/financialfreedomone

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  In debt and scared.
Posted by: Blond3yy - 07-23-2018, 08:28 PM - Forum: My Request for Help - No Replies

Hi my name is Kirsten. I'm 23. I made some bad decisions and got myself in some debt. I'm trying to get back on my feet. Anything would help if you are willing. I have some medical Bill's from a crappy case of mono and all my joints locked up.  So I was in the emergency room a couple times. I'm have court fines. I have loans. I am not a bad girl. Just wrong place wrong time on the court things. I do have a job but I dont make a whole lot. Anything will help. My paypal link is paypal.me/kwhitten143

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